Wednesday, February 23

Ugh

I've never felt so distraught and sorry for myself before.  I can't help but to have feelings of HATE, and then start to feel bad that I hated, and then start to feel bad for myself because of the situation I'm in.  I am not a victim.  If I truly believed in what I speak, I should brush this off my shoulder and move on, unaffected through my lack of emotions.

But I can't help but feel like complete shit.  Never have I felt so betrayed.  I've never not-NOT-cared this much before.  I really feel like I've been done wrong in this situation.

And then I think of times where I've done other people wrong...
Definitely can't victimize myself.

Yeah but I've never hated other people because of ONE person before.  This is a first.  I'll get over it.  Don't you just hate it when you know someone so well, and that you are probably the one person that knows this person best?  Not because you're a psycho, but because no one else really knows.  No one knows the ugliness inside.  Yeah, not saying I do, but definitely sucks to be in that position.

Get me OUT!

2 comments:

Sarah Park said...

Charles!

Hiiiii =]]
Feel Better man, I don't know what you're going through but you'll get through it. I feel so much better after venting on my blog haha. Hopefully you feel a lil more shyuhnae after writing this post too =]. Miss you Buddy!!! Come visit KOREA after you graduate!!

E-J Yi said...

doode. i feel ya so much on this!! i start judging people when i think, "how can they be friends with _____? they're trash!" when you know the TRUTH. and then i get in a deep, ugly pit.

then i realize that i shouldn't be around trash. and that sometimes i can be it too.