Change!

Why is it so hard to break free of immature habits? I feel like I've changed a lot since college started - definitely learned a bunch of stuff, found out stuff, figured out stuff, realized stuff. But I think APPLICATION to real life is so hard, especially if you're embedded in the bad habits. Those bad habits become automatic, a reaction, something that cannot be stopped.

For this one particular subject area, I feel like I've been doing/acting the same way about it since Junior High. I think back on how people affected me and who I made an effect on. In some ways, it was advantageous for me to act that way. But in many, many, MANY other ways, it was a disadvantage to my growth and maturation. I talk about how "I've changed so much, I've matured so much," but to myself, I know who I am and how I haven't changed for some things.

The end of high school was when I truly realized that I had not matured in this field of life. All the situations went through the same cycle - same start, same problem, same "solution" by me, same mistakes, same BAD ENDING. Sadly, very few people pointed out to me that this was not right. And of the people that did, many of them thought it was somewhat right at the same time.

When the "situations" that caused all this somewhat slowed down for me, it was a lot easier for me to step back from the problem and realize what I was doing. And when I fully did realize it, I knew I had to change.

But like I said before, APPLICATION is so much harder than just thinking and planning changes. So now that I'm being thrown into the same field of life that I had so much trouble maturing from again, I feel like the easiest/best way out is to act on impulse - do what comes to mind first. So when those bad habits come back again, I realize what I'm doing is wrong. It's probably going to negatively affect other people, and definitely come back to bite my ass and say "Karma's a bitch, mu'fucka."

So now, it's time. Judgment Day. Either:
Be an immature pussy, act on that damn first-to-come-to-mind impulse, never change, talk big shit, miss out on something good that could affect the rest of my life
-OR-
Grow some balls and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. Change! Be a mature person about it!

No one said life was gonna be easy. That's the theme for advice from my pops: "Who cares if it's hard, if it's the right thing to do?" So while I try to change and be the mature person that I should be, I want you all to do the same. You're probably not in the same situation that I'm in, but everyone has problems they're going through. Don't take the easy way out and regret it; work it through, be a man, LEARN, and if it's right, God will make it work.

Easier said than done right?