Individuality

This is how I feel:

I feel that I want to be as unique as possible. I want to listen to music that no one else is listening to. I want to like things that no one else is interested in. I want to wear things that no one else wears. I want to be someone that no one else will ever get confused with.

But doesn't that mean I'm not really being an individual? I'm trying to do/be things based on other people's thoughts and opinions. That's not really individualistic, is it? Shouldn't you be able to be who you are and not worry about what others will think? Strangely, I feel like I want to be different whenever I'm with people. I never really want to conform.

I feel like I'm losing my sense of self. I need to be more real. Real with people, with life, and with myself. So hopefully you'll be able to pray for me, or do whatever to help me out. I want to become the man I'm supposed be.