Slackin'.
A great line I heard:
"Procrastinating is like masturbating;
it feels good while you're doing it,
but in the end, you're just fucking yourself."
Sigh, I'm slaaaaaaackin' like mad.
Friday, November 14
Thursday, November 13
Muh-shee-suh!
I've been at UCLA for little over a year now. Every time I walk through campus, under the trees and past the beautiful brick buildings, I am always amazed at where I'm at. It's such a blessing to be here, and I am always grateful to God for it. A horrible, shitty day can instantly be neutralized by a walk through campus; just breathing in the scenery at UCLA makes me feel at peace. I think a lot of people here take it for granted; being at UCLA is such a blessing, no matter how you look at it. I hope everyone who walks through campus, down Bruinwalk, past Royce and Powell, through the sculpture gardens in North Campus, under the trees in front of Perloff, and even through the tunnel of Math Sciences, has the same thoughts as I do:
"Oh! Nuh-moo muh-shee-ddah!!!"
"Oh! Nuh-moo muh-shee-ddah!!!"
Wednesday, November 5
Satisfaction
- I bought $54 jeans for $9.99 at Urban.
- I am attempting to finish math homework instead of doing it the night before.
- I forced myself to wake up and go to class today.
- I am getting paid for being an office bitch.
- Lakers look pretty damn unstoppable.
- My fantasy basketball team is lookin' good too.
- Rihanna's "Disturbia"
- I am attempting to finish math homework instead of doing it the night before.
- I forced myself to wake up and go to class today.
- I am getting paid for being an office bitch.
- Lakers look pretty damn unstoppable.
- My fantasy basketball team is lookin' good too.
- Rihanna's "Disturbia"
Thursday, October 23
Don't Worry...
"Whatever."
That is my answer to many questions thrown my way and the final word said after an argument, a dispute, or a simple conversation. The way I see it, there really is no point in worrying so much about things. People get worked up about worldly things; relationships, schoolwork, opinions, blah blah blah. Why worry? The thing I don't get the most is how people who consider themselves super Christians and say that they put their WHOLE trust in God can worry so much about such material things. I'm definitely not one to judge, but it seems very contradictory to me.
I like the "Whatever" point of view on life because there really is no point in putting so much thought, emotion, stress, etc. into things that are going to end within a short period of time. If you truly feel like God is going to take care of you, why the hell do you have to worry about anything? If there was one thing I learned from the years of bible study and church, I think it would be that God will be there for me. Times will get hard, uncomfortable situations will come up, but fuck it. There's no point in getting so worked over it. Just know that you gotta do your thang, and know that God has your back.
You may think that I don't care at all about important things in life. But trust me, I do care. I always think about those topics of life, marriage, career path, death, religion, blah blah blah. But I always come to the same conclusion: "Whatever" nigga. I'll do what I do, and if you want to sit, analyze, and CARE so much about what I do, then go right ahead. I'm moving on, away from a situation that won't help me if I sit and mope.
I must sound like a total meathead who cares for nothing and for no one. It's okay. You can overanalyze this whole post and think how careless I am about this world. Or you can let go and rid yourself from the world. I don't want to preach, but God commanded us to rid ourselves from the world right? And as important as things may seem in our lives, such as work, school, family, relationships, they're all part what the world throws at us. Worries are part of what the world throws at us. As my nigga Bob Marley said, "Don't worry about a thing, 'cause every little thing, is gonna be alright."
That is my answer to many questions thrown my way and the final word said after an argument, a dispute, or a simple conversation. The way I see it, there really is no point in worrying so much about things. People get worked up about worldly things; relationships, schoolwork, opinions, blah blah blah. Why worry? The thing I don't get the most is how people who consider themselves super Christians and say that they put their WHOLE trust in God can worry so much about such material things. I'm definitely not one to judge, but it seems very contradictory to me.
I like the "Whatever" point of view on life because there really is no point in putting so much thought, emotion, stress, etc. into things that are going to end within a short period of time. If you truly feel like God is going to take care of you, why the hell do you have to worry about anything? If there was one thing I learned from the years of bible study and church, I think it would be that God will be there for me. Times will get hard, uncomfortable situations will come up, but fuck it. There's no point in getting so worked over it. Just know that you gotta do your thang, and know that God has your back.
You may think that I don't care at all about important things in life. But trust me, I do care. I always think about those topics of life, marriage, career path, death, religion, blah blah blah. But I always come to the same conclusion: "Whatever" nigga. I'll do what I do, and if you want to sit, analyze, and CARE so much about what I do, then go right ahead. I'm moving on, away from a situation that won't help me if I sit and mope.
I must sound like a total meathead who cares for nothing and for no one. It's okay. You can overanalyze this whole post and think how careless I am about this world. Or you can let go and rid yourself from the world. I don't want to preach, but God commanded us to rid ourselves from the world right? And as important as things may seem in our lives, such as work, school, family, relationships, they're all part what the world throws at us. Worries are part of what the world throws at us. As my nigga Bob Marley said, "Don't worry about a thing, 'cause every little thing, is gonna be alright."
Tuesday, October 14
Individuality
This is how I feel:
I feel that I want to be as unique as possible. I want to listen to music that no one else is listening to. I want to like things that no one else is interested in. I want to wear things that no one else wears. I want to be someone that no one else will ever get confused with.
But doesn't that mean I'm not really being an individual? I'm trying to do/be things based on other people's thoughts and opinions. That's not really individualistic, is it? Shouldn't you be able to be who you are and not worry about what others will think? Strangely, I feel like I want to be different whenever I'm with people. I never really want to conform.
I feel like I'm losing my sense of self. I need to be more real. Real with people, with life, and with myself. So hopefully you'll be able to pray for me, or do whatever to help me out. I want to become the man I'm supposed be.
I feel that I want to be as unique as possible. I want to listen to music that no one else is listening to. I want to like things that no one else is interested in. I want to wear things that no one else wears. I want to be someone that no one else will ever get confused with.
But doesn't that mean I'm not really being an individual? I'm trying to do/be things based on other people's thoughts and opinions. That's not really individualistic, is it? Shouldn't you be able to be who you are and not worry about what others will think? Strangely, I feel like I want to be different whenever I'm with people. I never really want to conform.
I feel like I'm losing my sense of self. I need to be more real. Real with people, with life, and with myself. So hopefully you'll be able to pray for me, or do whatever to help me out. I want to become the man I'm supposed be.
Wednesday, September 17
Korea
My family trip to Korea was a blessing in disguise for me. At first I didn't want to go; I remembered the disgustingly humid weather the last time I went, Korean history is really not very interesting to me, Korean tours telling me about Korea's history is not very interesting to me, and of course, I can't even speak Korean very well. But my mom and dad really wanted to go, and even though I whispered my complaints, I obliged to go. I knew that a few other people from America were in Korea, so maybe I would be able to hang out with them in Seoul. I just wanted to think positively for this trip.
Strangely, I didn't get to hang out with anyone with US citizenship, but I didn't really hate the stay in Korea. I mean a lot of the things I did was really boring, but it was a good chance to get away from the craziness in America. Even the weather in Korea was not only tolerable, but quite nice most of the time we were there. The most surprising thing for me I think was that I actually, somewhat, kinda enjoyed the tour we went on during the first week. The bus we were on was not bad at all; it had nice comfy seats, shades for the sun, a nice tour guide who had a good sense of humor, a bunch of Koreans who lived in America who came to visit Korea (like my family), and people who spoke worse Korean than I did (we had 4 white people, and one Korean dude from Seattle that could barely speak a syllable of Korean). It was weird how everyone on the bus got along so well and everyone became so friendly. I think it was the karaoke machine in the bus that got everyone so close. The bad singing of old Korean songs and plenty of soju must have done the trick. Either way, everyone was friendly and not hostile, even though the average age on the bus was in the late 50's. Because of this warm and friendly environment, I wasn't bitter about being surrounded by a bunch of wrinkly people, but I enjoyed the sites we went to and even got to have a few nice conversations with the people on the bus. It was definitely surprising to me that the tour wasn't a painful experience.
After the tour, my family went back to my Grandma/G-pa's apartment in bundang and stayed there for the rest of the Korea trip. We went around to Seoul and stuff, and wow. Seoul is a CRAZY ass city; we went on a the subway around the morning rush hour time, and I almost got dragged out of the train by some angry little lady trying to get out. I never want to bump and grind with that many men and women ever again.
I think the best part of the trip was seeing my entire family for Korean Thanksgiving. I got to see all of my uncles and aunts because they came by whenever they had the time. But I never got to see my cousins because all of them are in high school/graduated, and they're all studying 24/7 to try to get into college. Thankfully Korean Thanksgiving brought us all together. We ate and just hung out all day. It was a blessing to see how much all of my cousins have grown.
On the day we left, we said our goodbyes and everything, and I was happy to go back to LA and all, but it was a quite a sad day. My grandfather and grandmother started to cry when we were leaving. Because trips to Korea don't happen very often (this was only my third time in Korea), my grandparents pretty much accepted that this would be the last time they see us because of their old age. They started crying, my parents started crying, my sister started crying, but I didn't. I was actually kinda confused as to why everyone was crying, but I realized the reason, and it made me sad as well. I didn't cry or anything but I realized how much my grandparents loved us through all that they did. Even though my conversations with them weren't very deep, I knew that they loved me and my family a lot. Now there was a good chance that this would be the last time I would ever see my grandparents again. I already lost my grandpa from my mom's side this year, and thinking about never seeing my dad's parents again was painful. But I knew that there was nothing else we could do about it. We said our goodbyes and we went on our way.
Imagine if I completely refused to go to Korea and stayed in LA. I would have missed out on everything that I had experienced. I truly think it was a blessing that I was able to go to Korea for the past two weeks and have such a memorable time there. About my grandparents, there really is nothing I can do about it unless I earn like $2000 a week to send my whole family and myself to Korea every month to visit them. All I can do is make them proud in America, do my own thing, and be successful in life like they want me to be. So I gratefully thank God that he gave me the oppurtunity to go and reconnect with my family in Korea and for giving more motivation in life.
Strangely, I didn't get to hang out with anyone with US citizenship, but I didn't really hate the stay in Korea. I mean a lot of the things I did was really boring, but it was a good chance to get away from the craziness in America. Even the weather in Korea was not only tolerable, but quite nice most of the time we were there. The most surprising thing for me I think was that I actually, somewhat, kinda enjoyed the tour we went on during the first week. The bus we were on was not bad at all; it had nice comfy seats, shades for the sun, a nice tour guide who had a good sense of humor, a bunch of Koreans who lived in America who came to visit Korea (like my family), and people who spoke worse Korean than I did (we had 4 white people, and one Korean dude from Seattle that could barely speak a syllable of Korean). It was weird how everyone on the bus got along so well and everyone became so friendly. I think it was the karaoke machine in the bus that got everyone so close. The bad singing of old Korean songs and plenty of soju must have done the trick. Either way, everyone was friendly and not hostile, even though the average age on the bus was in the late 50's. Because of this warm and friendly environment, I wasn't bitter about being surrounded by a bunch of wrinkly people, but I enjoyed the sites we went to and even got to have a few nice conversations with the people on the bus. It was definitely surprising to me that the tour wasn't a painful experience.
After the tour, my family went back to my Grandma/G-pa's apartment in bundang and stayed there for the rest of the Korea trip. We went around to Seoul and stuff, and wow. Seoul is a CRAZY ass city; we went on a the subway around the morning rush hour time, and I almost got dragged out of the train by some angry little lady trying to get out. I never want to bump and grind with that many men and women ever again.
I think the best part of the trip was seeing my entire family for Korean Thanksgiving. I got to see all of my uncles and aunts because they came by whenever they had the time. But I never got to see my cousins because all of them are in high school/graduated, and they're all studying 24/7 to try to get into college. Thankfully Korean Thanksgiving brought us all together. We ate and just hung out all day. It was a blessing to see how much all of my cousins have grown.
On the day we left, we said our goodbyes and everything, and I was happy to go back to LA and all, but it was a quite a sad day. My grandfather and grandmother started to cry when we were leaving. Because trips to Korea don't happen very often (this was only my third time in Korea), my grandparents pretty much accepted that this would be the last time they see us because of their old age. They started crying, my parents started crying, my sister started crying, but I didn't. I was actually kinda confused as to why everyone was crying, but I realized the reason, and it made me sad as well. I didn't cry or anything but I realized how much my grandparents loved us through all that they did. Even though my conversations with them weren't very deep, I knew that they loved me and my family a lot. Now there was a good chance that this would be the last time I would ever see my grandparents again. I already lost my grandpa from my mom's side this year, and thinking about never seeing my dad's parents again was painful. But I knew that there was nothing else we could do about it. We said our goodbyes and we went on our way.
Imagine if I completely refused to go to Korea and stayed in LA. I would have missed out on everything that I had experienced. I truly think it was a blessing that I was able to go to Korea for the past two weeks and have such a memorable time there. About my grandparents, there really is nothing I can do about it unless I earn like $2000 a week to send my whole family and myself to Korea every month to visit them. All I can do is make them proud in America, do my own thing, and be successful in life like they want me to be. So I gratefully thank God that he gave me the oppurtunity to go and reconnect with my family in Korea and for giving more motivation in life.
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